Author: Matt Hellstrom
One of the best books we have read in our marriage is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The info we gleaned from this book has supported us and uplifted our marriage numerous times. It was amazing how that happened once we learned how we like to be loved and how we love each other.
Five Languages of Love
These are the languages: time, service, gifts, words and touch. These cover the areas of how not only we love but feel loved. We can have more than one language that are both important, but that is the exception to the rule. It is true that it is not easy always to tell what someones love language is. I will show you what I mean.
Julie turned 50 last month and I wanted to make sure it was as memorable a birthday as she is. So I set about making plans with her mom to do one of our favorite things – go to a WSU Cougar basketball game and make a full getaway weekend of it. I had every little detail planned where to stay, eat, how to get there. Only thing I was going to handle later was childcare for our brood. I couldn’t wait to see her face!
Well, although she liked the gift, it wasn’t perfect because of the fact that she had those child care issues hanging over her head. And that didn’t allow her to get excited. I had trouble understanding this, because my love language is time, and this was a gift that really spoke to that. Only problem – it wasn’t my present, it was hers! Sometimes, people give love in the same language as they receive love, and that doesn’t always work if the other person doesn’t have the same love language as you.
The Us Factor
Lately, we have been going through a marriage program called the Us Factor by Dr. Joseph Melnick. Bear with me here. It is set up to help improve marriages (or keep them together if necessary). We had just learned the importance of really listening to your mate, and that is what I needed to do.
We went out on date night, and had a good time. Toward the end of the evening, Julie said she wanted to talk to me about the birthday present, and I agreed to try, without getting too defensive. I tend to get childish sometimes when I think I’ve made a mistake, and I didn’t want to do that. As we talked through the issue, we came to the realization that although Julie also has the love language of time, she has one that is more important to her. What we determined was that it was very important for the child-care problem to be addressed, and that she didn’t have to do it for her to feel loved. I still didn’t quite get it, so I asked her what would have been a perfect gift.
The Perfect Gift
Pondering the question, she related that memories of her big 5-0 would always start with our dining out at one of our favorite family restaurants. I had taking time off from work and the kids had put on their Sunday finest and we whisked her away with her not haviing to worry about a single detail. Ah-ha! Service was her primary love language. What, you say? Service is serving another, putting them before yourself, so my not working and the kids shrugging off their favorite sweatshirts and tennies spelled LOVE to her. As did my giving her car a good cleaning early that day. Time language of love is still not far behind!
So now, thanks to Dr. Melnick and The Five Love Languages, we know a little more about each other, and how to love each other up! I highly recommend getting the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and working through it with your spouse.
Is your marriage crumbling, good but you want great, or somewhere in the middle? Whatever the case, you need to visit our How To Fix My Marriage website for lots more tips and tools to help your marriage be the best possible. Plus, check out the Us Factor Review for more information on this great new marriage product.
Related posts:
- Improve Your Marriage and Your Love Life With These Useful Advices
- How To Improve Your Marriage Life
- Saving Your Marriage – Learn To Overcome Those Obstacles
- Love SMS to improve your Love Life
- Growing Love In Marriage
Now You Can Stop Your Break Up,
Divorce or Lovers Rejection...
Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless!I'll take you by the hand and show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your ex lover back in your arms-Especially if you are the only one trying... "The Magic of Making Up"
"500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets!"
"500 Lovemaking Tips"
In fact, there's more hot sex tips here than ANY OTHER PLACE!You see, I've spent months and hundreds of dollars, researching approximately 50 books and 100 magazines, to separate the gold from the garbage. So instead of spending weeks of anger and frustration, shoveling through ideas elsewhere just to find the hidden gems, you can save time and money and end frustration by ONLY reading ideas that are well-suited. And you'll find all of this and more in my new book called:
"500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets!"
Tags: communication, love each other, love language, talking with your spouse
